If you have ever seen the movie “French Kiss” with Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline then you may recognize this little rant. Or if you have bumped into me today you may have seen something similar. I am NOT ok today. And I am ok with that.
God was preparing me for this day just yesterday. My daughter was in the kitchen helping her brother make lunch. One of her favorites is bologna and cheese. But, she uses the bologna to make the face and rips the cheese to look like hair…to look like her. Her favorite part is taking the mustard bottle and carefully squeezing as her little hands guide the bottle along to form the face on her creation. And it’s usually a happy one. But, not today. Mid-masterpiece, she slipped on the rug in the kitchen and fell right on her bottom. She’s a tiny little thing and doesn’t have much padding and the tears welled up quickly as she ran toward me. I hugged her and gave her some comfort and she went back to her lunch. When I finally got the remainder of our lunch over to the table I noticed her bologna face.
She had drawn a great big frown. I looked at her and she still had tears lingering in her eyes. She gave me a pouty face …all I could say was “I’m so sorry. That’s so sad. Oh, girl.” And then I had to turn to chuckle a bit. That was the saddest little bologna I had ever seen.
Yep. Corresponding face with the corresponding emotion.
She’s got that part down.
So why do grown ups have such a hard time with this?
Today, I woke up with an empty calendar but by 9:00 am that had changed. I noticed that our back-to-school shopping was still not done, I really needed to head to the Christian bookstore (not a big deal for some, but the closest one to me is in a neighboring state), had to drop into the docs office to get some school paperwork completed, drop off some uniform shirts to be embroidered…and then I plugged in the pool and the CGFI kicked in. It knocked the coffee pot offline. (Not a good morning for that nonsense!) It would seem that the line going to the pool…which the puppy had chewed on…had gotten wet in the torrential downpour last night. Ok…add a new electrical line to the list. Then I pull out of the driveway and notice the hole: the chasm that has opened up in our front yard. You see, just a few months ago we had to have a new septic field installed and the excavator warned me that the area where they do the necessary perc test is a bit finicky. He said he will sink over a few months and then they’d come fill it in and pack it down. He must have known what he was talking about I guess.
HOLY COW! We have kids…that’s a big hole. It’s about a foot deep and three feet long and getting bigger. Not only am I a mom, but I used to be an insurance agent. This one has “hazard” written all over it. So I did what any reasonable insurance mom would do and I bought caution tape because it sounds like that hole will be there until fall. (Hey maybe we could incorporate it into Halloween decor?…Oh wait…squirrel!)
Needless to say when I pulled out of the garage, that hole was much more than a hole. It was a pretty accurate portrayal of me at that very moment. Since April, I feel like I have been hammered pretty hard and the hits keep coming. I roll with it; some days better than others. God has always provided and I have no reason that He will let us fall now. And most of it is just “stuff” anyways. Just regular, real life, grown up stuff. What’s the real problem? Is it that corresponding face thing? There are days when I really need to allow myself to use the corresponding face with the corresponding emotion instead of stuffing it all in…Until the heavy rain comes and a chasm opens up and I sink like the hole in the front yard.
I know what God has to say about this- Check out Proverbs if you want to read for yourself. I do not have a license to throw a tantrum, or be angry and full of rage, or to lash out at others or plop down in my muddy hole and roll in it. Nope. But, I am human and I can cry and laugh as the occasion presents itself. Maybe I should do each a little more often so I don’t crack like I did today. Emotions often lie and decisions shouldn’t be made when emotions are high. (Otherwise, I would have bulldozed the pool, put a sale sign up in the yard, and you’d find me sitting in the hole.) I need to DAILY give it to God…whatever “it” is today…as it comes.
Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 tells me that there is a time for laughing and crying…but, just for a time.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
And then the time passes…and the bologna face is eaten….and it’s time to move on.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9