More than I can handle (part 1)

One thing I hope you see as I write about daily life in this blog is that I am human. There is no perfection here, just a wife and mom seeking the Lord. I have ups and downs like any other and share with you how God “reels me in”…or in some cases, as I learn the hard way as I sit kicking and screaming.

Just last week, I wrote a blog on passing on blessings. I used a week of “me-time” to help others and count the blessings which were passed on to me. I wrote that on Wednesday…by Saturday morning, I was unraveled. The kids had come home from vacation and my in-laws were staying over. I was so glad to have the kids home and was looking forward to enjoying some time with them, but when I woke up Saturday morning my “to-do” kicked in. I got up, put on my work clothes and went to the gas station to get fuel for the mowers. Wrote out the list of things that I really wanted (at that moment each was a desperate need) and I set to work. The problem  is, everyone else was enjoying a leisurely pace. The in-laws were shoving off to continue their vacation adventure and hubby was hanging out with the kids…watching me spin my wheels. He came to me and asked me what was going on. In a bit of a frantic tone, I told him, “There is so much to do… and I should have gotten it done while the kids were gone…but I didn’t…and now I am behind…and I have to get it done…why did I wait? I should not have waited until they were back to do this!”

Just like that. All of those moments helping others and all of those blessings I had received were crushed by two hands of toil.

Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.

Ecclesiastes 4:6

Selfishness.

Me, My, Mine.

I confess it folks. I had that thought, ” I should have not spent so much time doing other things for other people…I should have been home working on my own stuff.”

Hear that ugliness? (Sigh)

Hubby always has his white horse saddled up and at the ready. He asked me to prioritize my list so he could pick a task to knock out and we both set to work. At about three o’clock, I came to him and said, “Ok, I am out of my tree now. We can stop. Let’s pack it in and swim with the kids and have some fun.” I could see the relief on his face. I apologized for my insanity.

The rest of the afternoon was positively wonderful.

Then came the phone call….

My bro-in-law was in the ER again. He is an athletic, young 40’s dude and looks perfectly healthy. Looking at him you would not see the struggles that he has had and continues to have daily. He has had a few strokes and they have caused major lifestyle changes…among other things…and he has aphasia, which makes it hard to get the words in his head to come out of his mouth. Except when he is talking about God or God’s word. He may not be able to do the IT job he held before the strokes, but he is the recreation director at his church and pastors at a summer camp. I firmly believe that even in all of these health struggles he and his family have endured…that God’s plan is being hammered out in his life.

I thought she was going to tell me he had another stroke, but instead- he had a seizure. And then another in the ambulance. This is something that he has never had a history of and she told me that they were big ones. Within 20 minutes, our family was packed and we were in the car. Over the past four days, the ER and ICU doctors have been testing, re-testing…trying to get him straightened out. It may be a reaction to medicine and completely unrelated to his past history. It’s just one more thing. Please pray for my sister, bro-in-law and their kids.

Sunday evening, we packed up again and headed for home with two extra kids and our nephew’s new puppy in tow. And we’ve been here enjoying each other’s company ever since. Nothing like cousins and canines frolicking around the house!

Last night, I was telling my sister that having all of the kids and doggies here has been wonderful. I told her about my Saturday morning in my crazy-tree and shared with her just how ridiculous I feel now about that moment. All of the stuff on my list was just “stuff”. Helping her and these kids is so much more than that. God stepped on my coattails and re-centered me on Him and my purpose and direction under Him. What could be more important that fixing my kitchen sink, overflowing gutters, overgrown lawn, and sinkholes from the septic repair?

Well….everything.

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One thought on “More than I can handle (part 1)

  1. We’ll put ur brother n law and his family on our prayer list to pray for them. Let me know if you would like a prayer shawl for him. Thanks for sharing your heart today… God is always there for us to put things in order. Love and blessings:)

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