One of my friends sent me a text…”when it rains it pours”. It sure seems like that when the rain comes.
The past two weeks have been tough. I could compare myself to Job, but that would be ignorant. While hubby’s company seems to be struggling, he still has a job and we still have a roof over our heads. We have to dig up the front garden so we can get to the foundation to take care of some leaking or seeping there. Last week, our pup was sick and our septic system went into failure. We cannot do laundry and must wait another week until they can come do the perc test…which includes digging up a substantial portion of our front lawn. I cringe at the forecast of rain because that directly affects the root issue. (sigh) Our daughter is not feeling well and we just can’t pinpoint the cause and I have been struggling with a sinus and ear infection. As a matter of fact, we have been in a doctor’s office every day this week except Monday. The timing of the mounting medical expense is not good. After all, this septic thing is not going to be cheap. BUT, God has always provided for us and He is walking us through one step at a time. Until now, I had been taking everything in stride. After all, God is and has been very good to us. There are others around us who are struggling with life threatening illnesses and much larger struggles than the issues I just mentioned. Job? No. I have not lost my whole family…only one very important member.
It was supposed to be Spring Break. We were staying with family and were going to go to the zoo and maybe take in some museums. Yet, one thing after another seemed to de-rail that plan. On Tuesday, I tried to drive home with the kids but couldn’t go through the tunnel because of the pain in my ears and sinuses. The route we chose was so congested due to accidents that we finally turned around and stayed one more night. It was nice. More time with family and another night of antibiotics was just what I needed. The next morning we set out to go to the zoo, but ended up in an Emergency Care place instead. After a lot of tears (from me…not my kids) we finally made some headway and had lunch with a friend. Then I got the call…hubby said when he got home from work, he found our 11-year-old dog collapsed on the floor. He was struggling and things didn’t look good. I put the kids back in the car and we finished our drive. He called again when we got into the immediate area. The vet thought that Muddy had a tumor that had suddenly burst…his body temperature had dropped drastically and we had to hurry. The hardest part…telling our son that we were on our way to the animal hospital to see our dog for the last time. The second hardest part…watching my hubby cry as my son sobbed. The worst part ever…Muddy still had a fighting spirit and was trying to get up off of the floor as we lay there with him. He looked scared. But, I am so glad that this all happened suddenly and he didn’t have to suffer for a long period of time.
One rain drop at a time…a slow drizzle over the course of weeks. Now I am saturated…heavy…sad…worn. Like a sponge that has been completely immersed for a period of time, I need to be squeezed. A hug, maybe. I need God to wring me out. I am thankful for the truth speakers in my life: the ones who point me back to God when I am too focused on my stumbling feet. Especially the one who reminded me that my focus had shifted. I normally try to dwell on the positive and through God’s grace I had managed to remain a Philippians 4 girl.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Yes, my friend was right. I am looking more what is wrong this week and allowing that cloud to cast shadows on the abundance of what is good and right in my life. But, I have to be real with you- I am struggling this week. Walking with God doesn’t mean everyday is happy and sunny. Walking with God means that when it rains, God is the umbrella that gives me protection. Those periods of rain have the potential to result in beautiful growth.
24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
Matthew 7: 24-27
It’s not a matter of if the storms come…it’s just a matter of when. When the rain started falling and the water began to rise I looked down…I guess that’s natural. However, now I choose to rely on Him and not myself; Upon the strong foundation that HE built.
If you have been with me from the start of this blog then you know that I am a mom like many others. God teaches me through experiences with my kids, shows His face in the simplest of places and through everyday experiences. I love sharing those things…the good, the bad and the ugly. Most of those blogs include a positive lesson…something that God has shown me that I need to work on…or some affirmation or empathy. I struggled to write this particular blog today because, frankly, it’s a big downer. I am down but I am certainly not out. It’s time for me to start documenting my blessings more diligently again. Let’s get real-there is not one catastrophic event in this whole post. It’s not pouring…it’s just a slow and steady drizzle.
Then comes a blessing…the first one on the list as I start counting again. A sweet, small voice singing quietly in the back seat of the car. She sings like an angel. Do you know what song she chose?
Nothing could be closer to the truth. Amen.
Please pray for me this week. Pray for our daughter and her tummy troubles. Pray for our family as we try to deal with the loss of our “first child” and fuzzy companion. Pray for hubby as he endures challenges at work and at home. There’s a lot going on here and our sponge is saturated at the moment. Pray that the Lord will embrace our little family and squeeze out some of this heaviness today.