A little over a year ago I wrote a post called “A False Start and fruits of the Spirit”…it was about those mornings that don’t go quite right and God gives you the patience, self-control, forbearance and goodness needed to not only make it through the moment…but to be a blessing to others in that moment. It was a wonderful gift to be able to respond the way God calls me to…with the gifts He had bestowed upon me that morning.
And then there is today…same false start…EPIC Friday failure.
I am participating in the Bible study “Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free” with the women at church again. (Hey…I am not perfect and old habits die hard.) The opening part of the book asks if you could describe yourself as experiencing any of the following feelings…
During Bible study, I leaned over to the woman next to me and said, “All before 8am some days!”. She and I chuckled and agreed…getting the kids up and out of the house in the morning is sometimes an ordeal and one that I need to learn to take in stride. This morning God decided to reveal to me how I fail (not my kids!) in this area sometimes.
10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
That is the passage I was reflecting on as I was praying this morning. I was thanking the Lord for a conversation I had with another mother last night. As the mother of three, she really seems to embrace her God-given role as mom and wife and she does so with such joy and exuberance that she just shines. I was praying that God would ignite my purpose in my family and help me to reflect Him more as I serve them. As I was praying…
Doors opening and closing…the dog toys squeaking…”Mom, I don’t know what to pack for lunch.”…more chatter…a little playful shouting at the dogs…”Mom.”…”Mom”….”MOM”.
Then the tantrum. The fridge door slamming shut…the lunch containers being thrown on the counter…mumbling under the breath…”Seriously!? All I wanted to do was have a moment with the Lord, dude!”…”Opening and closing the pantry doesn’t make different food magically appear!”…
Yes. I am ashamed to admit.
The tantrum came from the 40 year old
– not the seven year old.
I have said it before and I will say it again and again. God sometimes places interruptions in our plans (even our quiet time and Bible study) for a reason. This was my opportunity to serve and shine…just as I was praying that very moment…and I FAILED. Not just a little. This was a big, LOUD failure. And He pointed it out right away. I was living a Romans 7 moment…knowing what I should do but struggling to live it. (sigh)
I sat down and asked forgiveness for my behavior- from my hubby, my son and the Lord. The thief came into my home this morning to steal just as I was asking to live this life with the abundance that comes from the Lord. And that thief slipped out the back door laughing all the way.
I am not perfect- nor will I ever claim to be. This momma is a work in progress and I can’t even count the number of times God has taught me through my children and my response to them. The important part is that I listen to that still, soft whisper and make the course corrections that God requires of me.
Through Christ I can turn this failure into a fruit filled Friday. Praise the Lord!