You would have been running two kids to two different schools and volunteering at each, setting up tables, helping with a bridal shower, shoveling piles of laundry, weeding an over-grown garden, holding down the fort while hubby embarked on a whirlwind business trip to the west coast and Canada, vet visit, groceries, soccer practice and soccer games…the day in and day out. You would have also had the pleasure of having pizza with the family after the game, two trips to grandma’s house, enjoyed a visit from a friend and visited another friend (long overdue), laughed your way through a bridal shower with a cut-out mustache in hand, and enjoyed the start of a new Women’s Bible Study with some wise women- peppered with new faces and real salt of the earth seekers of God. You would have played puzzles at 3am with a four year old who was having a rough night, tried a new firearm with new friends, celebrated the big 4-0 with a huge sombrero on your head in the company of sisters and you would have taken a nap…your first nap in years that didn’t involve an illness.
These shoes have been places. There is a LOT going on here.
The study I recently started called “Resting in Him” has caused me to view this race a little differently. Believe it or not, I am scaling back. God has been firm with me…my ministry is here in this home with a new Christian son and a blooming four year old and a marriage that is finally in full bloom ten years of growth and a transplant to fertile soil. I think I am in a new season. There is new growth and harvest going on all at once. I picture myself on the back porch in a rocking chair…smelling the fragrant blooms of new life and tasting the harvest that comes after a season of hard work. Fall and spring intertwined…my favorites.
Tonight, I was all set for week two of our new Women’s Bible Study at church. Then something happened.
A worm was crawling on a leaf in a tree in our back yard. Yup. A worm. THAT is what put the brakes on tonight. “Mom, come look!”, she shouted. I pulled off my socks and tossed them on the deck before I scampered off across the yard. Then a daddy-long-legs scurried under the shed and a game of “hide and seek” began.
I looked across the yard as his imagination was playing out loud and in full color. I have no idea what the role or the play was, but the acting was great. Yo-yo’s doubled as grappling hooks as they worked as a team to accomplish their goal. Although I don’t know what they were working on- they were super heroes on a mission.
This was the moment I had been waiting for. Not the worm…but the moment to just “be” with my family. This was the moment to be still. So I watched. I inhaled. I felt a heavy hand on me and a voice…”stay”.
He asked me if I could help him with his homework before I left for church. I was really looking forward to digging into tonight’s study with the awesome group of women I had met up with the week before and the time was creeping up fast. Tonight, God’s plan was different. So I stayed.
Homework, dinner together, Bible study with a 7 year old, bath time, and some down time as music played quietly in the background. When my attention began to turn to the things that needed straightened…when things got chaotic and they resisted the peace that seemed to fade with the sun…when the noise from the show they chose to watch before bed got to be a little much–as my frustration started to creep in, I decided that I didn’t want the peace of this night to end.
So THIS was my solution. Who knew that range gear could be so useful at home? A stroke of genius and a chuckle from the hubby was the cherry on top of a great evening.
God’s Word, blogging, silence…that is how the day ended. COMPLETE SILENCE.
Still…knowing…He is God.
To quote the Bible Study “Resting in Him” from the Women of Faith series
“Real rest demands that we stop completely. We stop the frantic pace. We stop checking things off our to-do list. We stop measuring our worth by our productivity.”
Psalm 23 tells me that He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. But, would I recognize a green pasture if I were standing in it or would the grass be greener elsewhere? I need to slow down to lie down in that pasture and drink in the quiet waters as He refreshes my soul.
Tonight was not about rebellion against my calendar. It was about enjoying a moment…stopping and refocusing my attention…listening.
I was bombarded with blessings tonight- thank you Lord! It’s all good…it’s all God.