Most little girls grow up with the notion that they will marry “prince charming” some day. From a young age, they imagine what the dress will look like…the flowers…the location and even the house they will live in afterward. For some, it seems like the wedding is planned and then they add (insert groom’s name here) when the day comes. At least that’s what I hear. There was another dream for me as a child…and you can confirm this with my dad…it was the truck.
I remember, before 2nd grade I had such a deep desire to have a truck. Yes, a truck. The neighbor had a big, beautiful, black Ford Bronco with orange stripes down the side with great big tires. (sigh) It was positively dreamy. In junior high, that changed to a Chevy Tahoe with knobby tires. I have always had an affinity for classic and muscle cars…the growl of the engine and the beauty of the design. And lets not forget the CHROME! Whew. Yes! Years later, my hubby caught me starring (and maybe a little drool was involved) over the neighbor’s ’69 Camaro. He said, “if you ever spend more time with a car than me we’re going to have problems”. But, he also joked that if I were ever “lost” he would look for the loudest engine and he knew he’d find me there. So- there you have it…I was going to drive an urban assault vehicle when I was not cruising in my classic.
I wonder how those little girls feel when they just can’t find the man to “insert here” when they start getting older? It may sound silly, but I think I found out tonight. This has been a big week. I bought my first bottle of gray hair shampoo. You know? The purple kind that keeps your gray from getting brassy? Yup. That’s the stuff. Then today…the “insert here” disappointment rolled into our garage in the form of a white m…m….m….mini van. There! I said it! I still haven’t found the right word, but that “m” word still doesn’t roll off my tongue. “Swagger wagon”, “Great Space Coaster”, “Zephyr”? There has to be another name for it. For a girl who has dreamed of nothing more than a large truck with knobby tires or a midnight blue classic with a smooth growl- this hurts. Pride? Maybe. But, for me it’s no different than being that girl with the dress and the flowers and no groom. I joked a little about adding glass packs and mag wheels….I could even paint it to look like a Hot Wheels car with fire shooting down the side. The sheer ridiculousness was enough to make me laugh- even if it was just for a bit.
God has been hammering at my pride a LOT in the past three months. This is just one more case of that I think. If I had gotten the vehicle I wanted, it would have cost us much, much more and would still have just accommodated our family. This vehicle was more affordable and will allow us to help others out in getting kids to and from school, going to soccer, and even on the long trips that we’ll be making to Florida to see the family. It just makes more sense. If I had gotten the other vehicle…it would have been for no other reason than, “because I waaaant it” (whine whine). That reasoning just will not fly.
With “40” fast approaching in a little over a month…and a white m…m…swagger wagon in the garage, and gray hair shampoo in the shower- I feel like I need to purchase another firearm or go bungee jumping or something just so I feel like I am not quietly careening toward my death. (well, I don’t think I’d really be careening in a mom-mobile. Maybe more like Austin Powers in the steamroller thing, but you get the picture.) The good news is that none of these things define me and the closer I get to my death, whether it be natural or by bungee jumping, the closer I am to eternity with my Lord Jesus! And the gray hair….well, even that is a blessing.
31Gray hair is a crown of splendor;
it is attained in the way of righteousness.
29The glory of young men is their strength,
gray hair the splendor of the old.
Now, I need to tuck in my lower lip…stand up…stop whining and use this season in life to serve in a new way. Each season in life brings new challenges and new opportunities alike. While it may not be the moment I had planned in my head as a little girl- it is exactly where God wants me right now.
I will learn to be content and thankful…and I will learn to focus on others before myself. (Still learning every day!)
For now, I am JoMomma! Hear me roar! I will be the one in the white wagon (with the NRA Member sticker on it, of course).