Intentional Architecture

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Proverbs 14:1

There was a time when my husband was not around so much. He used to spend more time with his sports team than he did at home and it hurt my feelings. I did go to him and tell him how I felt, but it fell on deaf ears. Instead of doing things to build up my house…I started tearing it down. If he wasn’t going to make an effort to be home when I was home, then I would do the same. When I look back at my not-so-brilliant plan …was that really helping the matter? Or hurting it? This was just a tiny rift that would, later, be a chasm that grew between us over several years. It’s sad to reflect on. Thankfully, the Lord cleared the fog around my head and I can see things with a clarity I didn’t have before.

Seriously, we do these things! Silent treatments when we don’t agree with each other, sharp words, ultimatums, harsh criticism, discouraging words, rebellion and selfishness are all tools that we use readily and with zeal as we tear down our homes. This is going to be a short blog today- just some food for thought.

Do I get frustrated far too easily at my children for doing foolish things that children sometimes do?

Is my patience always thin?

Do I tear down more than I praise?

Do I really give it all to God or do I hang on to things and choose my own path?

Do I give thanks in all things?

Do I turn my back on my hubby when I don’t agree or when he makes a decision I don’t agree with?

Do I use silence as a means to manipulate?

Is my glass half full or half empty? Who fills it and what it is full of?

Do I spend irresponsibly and put a strain on my family?

Are my selfish needs more important than the needs of my hubby and kids?

Do I teach and discipline my kids and then set them forward on the right track?

Do I respectfully disagree and pray about the situation when my hubby has a different point of view?

Do I ask God to take my hurt feelings and replace them with his truth, so I don’t become disabled and ineffective?

“Building” is…

  Something fashioned or devised systematically, constructed..

Any human-made structure used or intended for supporting or sheltering any use or continuous occupancy.

I want to be a woman who is building a home that is a shelter for my family; a safe, warm place of trust and love. A place they will enjoy being and will bring their friends to for years to come.I want to build my children with strong Godly stones that will form a strong protective shelter where they will grow and thrive. I want to provide them with Christ-centered instruction and guidance; show them that they were created with purpose…knit together by the Creator Himself. I want to support and encourage my husband…not only when we agree, but unconditionally. In true Proverbs 31 style, I want to be a good steward of the blessings the Lord has provided through my hubby’s hard work and dedication. I want to add to our family by making good decisions that will not only benefit us all, but will bring glory to God above all. I want to speak only words to and about my husband and children that are honest and will encourage (genuine–not flattery) and build them up.

Lord, help me to choose to build up and not tear down this home. Through your Word, show me which building materials will be strong and everlasting and steer me from cheap imitations and fleeting fads. Help me to not join in on meaningless talk and choose words that would encourage others. Your Master Plan should be consulted when placing each brick with the understanding that if I lay a haphazard foundation- not according to your plans- you will correct it Yourself. Help me to be an intentional architect in this home, using your blueprints as my guide, even if I don’t understand or agree with the design. You, Lord are the Master Architect and I must trust your ways and your plans for me and our family.


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