Tides ebb and flow.
This past week or so has been a challenge. I have struggled with discouragement and disappointment, I have been down on myself and have questioned if I should be blogging or even opening my mouth at all. In short, I have been focused on myself. What I am not good at, what I can’t do, what I shouldn’t have said, what my limitations are….Me and my shortcomings all had a party together. I was not doing a very good job of taking each thought captive and countering it with the truth found in God’s Word. As a matter of fact, in my reading I was sinking lower…being convicted and sinking in.
Measuring myself against others…unwise(2 Corinthians 10). My tongue was sharp and my ship went off course…darned that rudder (James 3).The words I spoke were not those that build others up (Ephesians 4)…disgrace.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Where there is strife, there is pride,
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
Pride brings a person low,
but the lowly in spirit gain honor.
The truth…God has been bringing up pride with me a lot lately. Comparing myself to others, lamenting because they like her more than me, getting offended at being called a hypocrite instead of addressing the issue of my poorly placed comments, feeling small as someone gave a narrative on the imperfections of my life and marriage, being frustrated because I should be able to do this task easily- but I am challenged, relying on my own strength instead of the strength of my Creator and Lord. I needed a healthy dose of humility.
2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
On my face and feeling so low- my husband came along side. This man is steady…so steady. Sure, he has challenges and struggles like any other, but he does not have a tendency to allow emotion to get the better of him (unlike me). He brought home dinner, plucked some roses from the rose garden and put them in a vase in front of me, he threw me in the pool away from the chaos of the project I am working on…reminded me that God loves even me. I looked at him and said, “You know what? You’re my floating dock.” He looked a little perplexed so I went on to explain. “Floating docks rise and fall with the tides. When the water gets high, so do they…when the water gets low, so do they. You are my floating dock…anchored in Christ…and always there for me (a dinghy for sure) to tie up to regardless of how high or low the water is.” He smiled. I can see Christ in him…he is a new creature and I love him.
Lord, I am imperfect. Help me this week to focus on what You have done and what You CAN do in spite of myself. My limitations only exist because of my lack of faith and trust in You. Through Your power and Word I am equipped for every good work. Amen.