Early in the year, I knew that God wanted me to examine my role as a wife, mother and as a child of God. Through prayer and study in the Word, I feel like I am finally beginning to hit my stride. Yet, I recognize certain areas that still need some more attention…HIS attention.
4 Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. 5 Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. 6 Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. 7 Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, Lord, are good.8 Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. 9 He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. 10 All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of his covenant. 11 For the sake of your name, Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
If I were a vehicle, I imagine I’d be a muscle car. Maybe a Chevy Chevelle SS. REAL steel- with a deep growling engine when started but, purring like a kitten when in idle. My paint job isn’t very flashy. As a matter of fact, at first glance I’d likely be underestimated or overlooked. Sometimes, I wear white walls appropriate for a slow, steady cruise. Yet, other times, racing slicks are the tire of choice. “Slicks” are tires that are ideal for racing and are also known for providing uncompromised traction. “Burning out” is actually more than just cool move before a drag race. The process actually heats the tires and gets rid of any dirt and debris that may have attached itself to the tire. However, if the tires have evidence of wear or are bald…a blow out may be on the horizon.
There are times that I cruise…
In an effort to be more intentional, we have reinstated out monthly date night. Also, my hubby thought it would be a good idea to have a monthly date night…one parent, one child…to give them each dedicated attention with each of us. Then he suggested one family date a month. Well, with four weeks in a month-that all works out nicely. Sometimes plans change, but this is a flexible thing. The night of the week may vary as well as the activity. It has been refreshing and fun although, admittedly, it’s a challenge to change from the racing slicks to the white walls and downshift from the daily race that can sometimes happen.
Often times I race…
My weeks resemble the week of many, many moms out there. Groceries, laundry, school, and activities, sprinkled with immediate needs and issues that tend to pop up, home management and time management…whew. I get tired just thinking about it. After our kids head to choir, Wednesday Bible study would be great. Instead, we have each chosen to serve on Wednesday in the Children’s ministry. This Thursday included a much-needed dinner date with hubby preceded by some together-time at the firing range. Friday night I scoot off to Women’s Bible Study to dig into God’s Word with other “grown-ups”. This time is so valuable for so many reasons. Inevitably, Saturday is ideal for yard work; but, that yard of ours usually needs tended to twice a week when the season is in full swing. This Saturday, I had the privilege of attending a luncheon with a group of awesome women from all over the state of Maryland in support of Christian counseling services for women and families. After the luncheon, I finished the deck staining project I had started on Friday followed by dinner and a movie with my family. Sunday is the Lord’s day. While I am also being more intentional about keeping it that way, sometimes things do come up. My dear friend reminded me that I had said I would join the choir and practice is on Sunday afternoons. Maybe it will be better to wait until after school is out. Today, our after church activities included an afternoon at the ballet with my daughter…The Little Mermaid. What a wonderful day!
After a few weeks of running, those racing slicks were hot and ready. My traction was great…but the tires were worn.
Then the blow out…
I got home this afternoon and had one hour to get dinner together before evening service. Hubby was already on task and asked me to pick up where he left off- so, I tossed the steak on the grill. My engine was purring. It was a busy week and I feel like I had accomplished so much. There were challenges, but God has got me in his hands. My prayers this week expressed a strong desire and request for Him to order my steps and felt that I did a great job following his GPS. Just then, my son comes in to the kitchen and says, “Ya know, Mom, you never played video games with me the way you said you would this weekend. I guess sometimes people say things they don’t mean, huh.”
POW! Shredded rubber everywhere! In all of the plans and conquests, I fell short on a little thing…something that is a BIG thing for my son. He only gets to play on the weekends and the weekend is over. What am I teaching this child in my example here? Uggh. This hurts.
Just yesterday, the speaker at the luncheon said that the most important thing you can give is your undivided attention…
…but, how can a mom do that when her attentions are so divided?
By no means am I complaining about any of the activities I mentioned. I enjoy each one. However, I will admit that I am tired. My son made it clear that not only is there very little free time, but, there is no time for spontaneity. If there is no time for spontaneity, it is likely that I am missing some opportunities to serve…not identifying the needs of those around me…still, missing the mark. I am making commitments and am not keeping them (Choir and video games are just the tip of the iceberg, I am sure.) I am disappointed in myself. What’s worse? My son is disappointed, too.
Shredded tire smoking…I limp to the side of the road. I need a tow.
Fortunately, I know just who to call.
Ecclesiastes reminds me that everything is meaningless under the sun. All of this running is just running unless it has eternal significance. My husband and children are my first mission field. I need to pay more attention here. The laundry is the sea that is never full…it will always be there and will never be done. My children only grown up once so I need to place more focus there. My marriage has already been given a second chance (Praise the Lord!) and is a gift. I scan back over my notes. What is expected of me as a wife and mother. Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 reminds me of my role as helper and my charge to set an example. I need to stop saying “yes” to everything (again) and focus on what God gives me. My hubby and I sat down a few weeks ago and blocked off weekends in the calendar where we will commit to NOT commit to anything. God knew I was going to have this blowout and had cleared my calendar do deal with the maintenance and re-alignment I would need to go through.
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I took this picture (from the passenger side) while cruising down the highway. It’s the PERFECT picture. Do you see it? That tow truck has a big ole’ iron cross on the back! He makes His presence known in the most unlikely places.
GOD NEVER FAILS!
33 Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees,
that I may follow it to the end.
34 Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law
and obey it with all my heart.
35 Direct me in the path of your commands,
for there I find delight.
36 Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.
37 Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
preserve my life according to your word.[c]
38 Fulfill your promise to your servant,
so that you may be feared.
39 Take away the disgrace I dread,
for your laws are good.
40 How I long for your precepts!
In your righteousness preserve my life.
David, a man after God’s own heart. He sought, succeeded, obeyed, fell short, sinned, repented, sought and succeeded….I find great comfort in the Book of Psalm for many reasons. Today, I take comfort in knowing that God is always with me and will give me a tow when I fall short. He will bring me in for the needed repairs and re-alignment and will set me straight on his path. All I have to do is call.